Real Raw January Blues: Thankfully, Marathon Training Begins

It's two weeks into training for the London Marathon and I'm already exhausted. Maybe it's not entirely fair to phrase it that way, as though the training is to blame. It started before the training. There are a million more factors than an uptick in intensity -- the intensity just so happens to bring everything out of the grave and into the light.

My mind shimmers -- daily -- with an urgency: Wake up. Eat right. Consume supplements. Drink water. More water than that. Coach clients. Connect with partner. Edit the book. Train. Recover. No, recover better than that. Read something. Eat more. Wind down and do the face care routine and catch up on the Netflix show.

And that's just me and my body and actions.

My body is holding onto a now-chronic press of accrued stress. My hormones have shifted, as shown by a recent blood panel. I'm low in estrogen, high in testosterone, and my cortisol is higher than I expected. There's inflammation showing up in my gut and my body is pulling iron from its storage as indicated by my ferritin levels (they're low).

As an educated, board-certified health coach, it can feel naughty to experience these human elements within myself. To be a recipient of stressors and have them pile into a mound of stress symptoms feels counter to what I teach, support, and tend to for my clients. But, it's here, it's evident, and it's not easily remedied. My exhaustion follows me everywhere, like an old friend who doesn't serve me anymore, but I don't have the heart to fully part with, yet. And I remember that I'm human, too.

The world continues to burn. Wars rage. Nature suffers and communities are pressed into extinction. My soul is tired, at a loss. And my physical body mirrors the despair with the above-mentioned challenges.

How can training for a marathon help with my soul-filled blues, my body exhaustion? Wouldn't it just press me further into a stress-filled state of no-return?

I don't think so, truthfully. I believe training for a marathon gives me something big, beautiful, challenging, and life-giving to hold onto and shape my decisions.

Running is my Church

My spirit revitalizes with the catalyst of running. A start line awakens a purpose within me that spreads into daily action that's rooted to a greater cause. In the process of training, I become more attuned to my spirit, my body, my mind -- and thus support those vital areas better.

Not training places me in an unstructured hole where I grasp for footing. Lots to learn in there, but unsteady, uncertain, and more weary-making.

In its own way, running's my Church. My way of praising, rejoicing, creating purpose, connecting -- spiritual nutrients. And when I tend to this Church, I have a greater desire to tend to my energy, my well-being, my body the temple.

With purpose and structure can come new habits that support my well-being.

I am willing to make adjustments to my training where it's needed. Last week that meant 2 full rest days and a modified tempo run.

I am also willing to bring a deeper sense of mindfulness and, therefore, love to my body and spirit during this training block. I'm working with a nutritionist for the first time to support my energy. I have a therapist. I'm learning how to take it all a little less seriously, but just serious enough.

It's the real, raw place I am starting from for London Marathon. The real, raw place called Church.